Art & Poetry

Darker than any ocean
And deeper than the sea,
The bloody-nosed girl smiled,
“Look Mommy, Death has come for me.”

With its wispy scythe sharpened
And grin forever on its face,
Death spoke sweetly and warned the mother,
“You shall not take her place.”

The mother fought against Death's nature,
Quite usual for her breed,
“Death, I beg of you.
Take me and let her free.”

The offer might have been tempting,
But something it did not know,
“What could you possibly have, dear mother,
To save your daughter's soul?”

A soul was already Death's to have
This the mother could not ignore,
“My heart, my body, all of my possessions,
My soul, my service and more.”

Death simply could not agree
Without a proper token,
“Perhaps I can offer another prospect
Before the last word is spoken.

I will have your daughter's soul,
This is set in stone,
But I can give a final moment,
And she won't have to die alone.

From now until I return,
Will be what her time is worth.
Use this time wisely, dear mother,
And I can promise her death won't hurt.”

The mother cried softly
And could no longer defend,
“I can not fight this sickness in her,
And with her death also comes my end.”

Death shifted its focus
And glided out the door,
Nodding sagely to the mother
Leaving silence in the room once more.

Days passed with growing sadness
Feeling like a looming shroud,
The mother stayed with her daughter every second,
As the sky darkened with heavy clouds.

The last hours came with thunder
And down came the pouring rain,
As promised, Death took the daughter's soul gently,
And her daughter did not feel pain.

The mother lovingly kissed her daughter's head
And slowly sat as midnight fell,
“I tried to save you, but Death is certain.”
And the mother smiled a teary farewell.

“It was darker than any ocean
And deeper than any sea,
When Death came for my child
And took her away from me.”

Two-heads shift restlessly upon the shoulders,
One for greed, the other for reason,
Soon greed gnaws on reason's neck,
Tasting its bitter flesh,
But bitter begets saturation
Lost in the remnants we call a vessel,
This vessel we tread lightly
And lay down to dream,
This vessel we lose sight
and give into gratification,
Reason accepts greed as its own,
But reason will not let greed control, merely
Gnaw at the restraints it's placed within,
As greed sets its focus only upon reason's neck
Reason witnesses what comes
Enduring greed's hunger.

It is not what we should perceive as needed,
We should need what we are able to perceive.

Look in the mirror.
What do you see?
Disappointment? Shame?
Anger and the need to blame
Everyone but yourself.
You stare, detached,
Focused on the iris
As you insist on thinking
"Terrible me, horrible me."
Time passes, and the tears dry,
You find the will to look again.
Red eyes disguise the memory
Of your face,
But it's fades and releases
As you find pieces
Of yourself once more.
You gather your courage to yourself,
"I am worth loving, for I am myself."
Ups and downs
With no one around,
You still smile and point at the face
You stumble in place
But find you're resolve.
Kill me, stab me,
Hang me out to dry,
Defy these thoughts
Or so your taught
And appreciate this rare life.
"I struggle, I fight,
I love, I cry,
But I won't die unhappy. I refuse.
I will hold the faith
I gently save
For myself,
And find love, for me,
With no one around."

It'll never be easy, life never is,
But you truly matter more
Than the lies you hold within.

I always doubted you
As I looked into your eyes,
Watching the earthy hues
Stare deeply into my soul.
I couldn't trust you,
For every word dripped with hatred
Towards me,
And left a widening hole
That grew and grew
Until it devoured my sense of love.
You reasoned my downfall,
And fortified every wall
Around my heart.
I hated you as much as you hated me,
And it was that hatred I could only see
Blinding, unforgiving, and relentless.

It took every fiber of my being
To pull away from the mirror
And realize that you are me,
I am you,
I have the will to instill
Love back into heart
No matter how far
I've fallen.

When I look into that mirror,
I will see you there still,
But I will remember that I am here too,
And this part of me holds more power
Than any malice, hatred, and doubt
You could inflict.

You serve a purpose,
For I can not appreciate the light
Without knowing of darkness,
And in this I find myself
At peace.

The note, the loudest note,
Signals the overture,
For those who prefer
Not to wait for the end.
They pretend
To enjoy the symphony, but disagree
When the climax dissipates.
It infuriates them
As they riot the stage,
And in their melodic rage
Kill the composer,
The music is over,
And they find themselves wanting.

A bridge made of ice
Relies heavily on the chill,
Frozen in place across the boundary,
Passage given freely at will.
Take your steps slow with cautious anticipation,
No precipitation to be found.
Void of cracks and desecration,
Flawless to the human eye;
Whom shall endeavor the journey
And find peace on the other side?
Can I feel my cold fingers
Once I run my hand against the rail,
Can I warm these rigid limbs,
Every ankle, toe and nail?
May I find another path
Filled with warmth and growing life,
Sheltered beneath the humble shadows
Under the gaze of the blazing light?

Time has no sympathy
For indecision held within,
I may not know where this will lead me,
But I know where to begin.

Left in a maelstrom.
Push against the gale,
When you reach the struggling rope
You pray that you won't fail.
Hide the precious cargo
From pirates and stronger foes,
Know that your situation
Is more complex than you know.

Behold the storm,
Lightning and thunder
Crashing against the horizon.
We're fighting for our lives,
Disguised as perseverance,
In a sense of overcoming
Your resolve and inhibitions.

If you understand,
I empathize with your mind,
And hope you understand
We'll find our way in due time.

Not sure if I'm floating
Or drowning inside the storm,
I taste the salt and iron tang
As I hear the winds remorse.
The waves consume
My weary soul,
The lightning booms with thunders roll.
The light escapes in shortened lives,
My skin grows cold but the fever's high,
I see the darkened clouds birth again
As I sink down under,
A Deathly Grin.

Beneath the golden horizon brushed with silver and
reds, the distant Transcendence slowly crept into
view. Before long, its grasp fell firmly on my
shoulder, and instead of fear, I felt relief. I
acknowledged its presence with a nod and
continued to gaze to the horizon. Peace and
Understanding would soon be here too, and I could
only hope Compassion would find its way as well.
Deep breath. Relaxed shoulders.

"I'm ready."

Behind a pane of glass
I reach for the answer.
My fingers caress the barriers skin
And feel the distance at my touch.
To be so close yet no where near,
I numb myself still,
Cause I know I deserve nothing less
Than this forced solitude.
I can see every detail
And focus on the thought,
Because nothing else will come of it
Beyond this understanding
And awareness.
Behind this pane of glass,
I see what I could do,
Break the glass and destroy my hands,
Let the blood stain everything,
And lose the beauty in front of me.
So I stare through this pane of glass
And keep my heart braced,
Because I have no place on the other side
Of knowing that kind face.

To give into our recklessness
And bless our bodies with ink,
To think upon forgotten times
and remember how to forget.
Shame is never the motivation
To the innovation of our lives,
We decide to shed our skin
So we can't recognize
The apparition we've become.
Paint our faces with dye
To defy nature's innocence
And in a sense of compassion,
We fashion another face.
Let our form disfigure
And wither at both ends.
Gain immense gratification
As we expand into humiliation.
They believe the blame has a scapegoat
And fancy deceptive truth,
Imagine if these ideals were collected,
Imagine if this was you.

We give ourselves too much credit
Holding intelligence as the victor,
Might we fall from grace and become desolate,
We will choose to blame another.
It's our pride we hold so dear
That we forget how to be modest,
And kill the values of morality;
Strength to the lie,
Death to the honest.

We glide to our precipice,
We fall into the sky
As we taste the lightened shadows
As we learn how to fly and wonder
Why the earth dampens our landing
With a mighty halt.
We fault the stars
And gravity,
But it's our minds
That will set us free.

Even in my dreams
I see your face,
And I'm reminded of the want,
The desire,
To drive to your place
Just to taste the memory
Of what once was.
But the dream takes a turn
And I learn as an observer
That you've moved on.
It's wrong of me to resist,
For it persists stronger than
Any idea or sickness could cause
Such pain.
But I wake to contemplation
And understand my position
That you're a dream,
A memory,
And you'll never be more than that ever again,
That's ok,
And I'll be alright,
Cause I fight to see how much
I can love myself.
I jab with "you're worth being loved",
Cross with "I'm a beast,"
At least I've grown into
A version of myself
I can respect,
And let it resolve the problems within.
I'm ready to be loved
Not just from others
But to myself as well
And tell whomever is lucky enough
To love me too;
I'm just as lucky,
For you are an amazing person
And us to love one another
Is a remarkable and inspiring
Moment in the universe.
You know you're worth it
And build myself as well,
I won't tell you my love,
I'll show it,
And life will never be the same.

Life in eyes
Life in me,
Life reliant
Life decrees
“Life is beauty
Life is pure,
Life is patient
For all who endure.”
Life chuckles
As life explains,
“Life wants nothing
But to end your pain.”
~*~
Death in sight
Death in me,
Death defiant
Death decrees,
“Death is pleasant
Death's secure,
Death is waiting
For you, I'm sure.”
Death laughs
As death explains,
“Death wants nothing
But to end your pain.”

The loyal dog
Lays by my side
And speaks not one word.

Her chest rises
And sinks ever slow
To her dreams running unheard.

I hug her close
And close my eyes,
"I find it funny, dear friend.
One such as you
Would comfort someone like me, in the end."

Flames!
Roar in my thoughts, course through my veins!
Can you be so sure?
I see no cure,
Hold me secure,
Do you not feel the passion in my heart?
Damn these thoughts...rot in your cages!
They leave me reeling
As I slow my breathing,
Numb.

When the flames subside and give me pause,
I'll stand renewed and refuse to fall.

Detached, we feel the safest.
Close, we feel the most vulnerable.
Middle ground is a struggle
Since we balance on a thin line,
Attachment is a risk,
But I'm willing to do it every time.

Underneath the years I've followed,
With the gathered memories I've known,
Always remembered my distant past,
Seldom held joy to sorrow.
Lived lives like winding dreams
Taken back for soul's dispense,
I guess they'll never know
How all my hope had once collapsed.
Sure, a martyr may bleed
Believing greatly in their mind
That perhaps He will forgive
Their soul in the blessed divine.
No matter what I do
Or what I want to behold,
Every broken piece of my heart
Is worth ten times over gold,
Maybe they will finally feel
From every fractured pain;
Someday, everyone will know,
Love and sorrow are not the same.

No.
You weep not for the death
Or the lasting ragged breath,
Not a single tear given
Is shed for the living
As you find yourself regretting
But never risk to betting
That your love was truly real
And it is now loneliness you feel.

Love and sorrow, are not the same.
I close my eyes and feel the pain.
Whispers soft and feel the kiss
Against my neck and can't resist
The creeping doubt inside my mind,
I'm losing faith, I'm losing time.

She wants more but I want less
The stress, a mess, I must confess
As my heart tries, it lies still,
My will is apathy.

Often I'm left with questions,
Who should stay?
Where was Affection?
Clamor on the rubble that was our love
And find myself left above
The remains of indecision.
A vision of you lingers
Shadowed in feigned promises,
The chilling frost bites at my heel
And it freezes the heart that wanted to feel.

I feel your cold fingers
Wrap into my own,
Comfort contorted into
Apathy.
The silence fills our conversations
As I lay against the warm fabric,
Lethargic, I can not say,
But I am filled with acceptance.
I stare at you and know
No other holds me as close as you.
Sweet, loving, Isolation.

We say it all the time
Fading the very word,
Feigning passion so absurd
It leaves us empty inside.
We've killed people over this notion
And even say it conquers all,
Hopeless romantics want to stand tall,
But I feel more than this emotion.

I feel anger, disappointment, frustration and sin,
Where do I stop, how was I to begin?

Over and over we follow through
Past the commitment and loyalty,
Will they ever know of me?
I wish she did, I wish she knew.

As the walls collapse inside my head
The hungry watchers gaze instead
At the towering cloud of dust and storm,

"I knew this prison never kept me warm."

So I stumble out and push aside
The naive notions and pretentious lies
Crumbled around where I used to stay,

And now I know, I am better this way.

Take that part of me
So I may grow.
Show me that I can
Survive without it
And become stronger.
Rip the sadness
Turning into madness
As well.
The numbness shapes me while I wait,
And push onward in this unforgiving state.
The absence will fill my soul
And replace that which you stole.

Tell me beautiful lies
Painted with a smile,
Hold onto the truth
With shadowed hands,
Understand for a while
I believed you.

Your words spoke of memories
But time revealed the story
Of our differences,
In a sense of romance
Its absence told me
Of your desire.

However, I am not lost in this,
I find strength in my loneliness
And fight against the fall,
Measure not the battles given
Or the moments I lost hope,
I won't let myself fade.

I'll overcome it all.

Cross my heart
And hope to die.
Challenge the thoughts
And ask myself; why?
Why do I hate
The things I can't control?
Why do I relate
To every sadness told?
It's not a curse or broken life
To feel a bond to those who cry
From their hearts for sympathy;
Be the love you want to see.

I felt your kindness, and gave you mine.
I felt your touch, and closed my eyes.
I saw your smile as you held me close,
"I love you, darling. It's you I chose.”

Without a face I'd bear no shame,
No mouth to speak; no words to feign.
The absence of taste discolors my world
And soon emotion begins to unfurl.
Take my ears so I live in silence,
Hear my own thoughts,
Disregard the violence.
Sever my nose to dissolve my senses
The penance is taken to shatter the tenses,
I can't tell lies
Or see the evil,
No taste of fear
And pain to feel.

I've made my standard
Against the unknown,
And find myself
At peace.

We often fall, stumble, and wait,
We often decide to hesitate,
We often see what we needed too late
And lose ourselves in this state
Of mind and body,
Soul and steel,
Foundation's crumble
And lose what's real.

A fading sensation takes its toll,
I lose my senses and self control.
My whole existence narrows thin
A grin, a smile, and the feelings within.
Suddenly change course and lose your path
It's never easy but we try to laugh
At the terrible life we seem to call,
Right before we lose it all.

Exaggerated awareness takes its toll
As I hold myself for better days
And pray that the rationality
Defeats us.

Verified by hidden voices,
The choices seem to disappear
And fear panicked for having nothing to hold
Within us.

Measure gifts with created devices
The vice is clear, and distinct,
We think it is a perception of truth
But all I see are manipulated views.

Never solid,
Present talking
Fills our minds
Every time I walk the ground
I hear the sound of doubt fruition
And indecision
Creates a vision
Of stability.

My vague nature has a story and I justify the truth
too late,
Wait for patience, I get no glory and find myself
within my hate.

It was never my intention
Not to mention how regrets
Leave me silent,
Are we not all violent
When patience befriends absence?
Does circumstance follow optimism or doubt?
Should I swallow all my pride
When I hide what I've found?
I debate frequently to myself; I know this is weird,
But truth is only in our minds,
And it is reality that I fear.

I feel the resentment in my chest
As I struggle against this mess
Of poor decisions and bad luck
As I try to give a
Contemplative assessment of life
And I'm truly unable to deny
That everything has fallen into place
While I stare at the face
Of a broken man in the mirror
Who has grown to fear
The walls caving in.

I hold with grace for those I love
And when push comes to shove
Against the grain for the norm
A regretful silence in an angry storm
Of unfortunate circumstance,
Do I stand a chance?

Time will tell if things will aspire
To the hopeful thoughts required
For optimism and self worth,
But I'm certain that I'm unsure
Of what may come to pass
And if it will last
Till I find my place in this world,
Money is siphoned as I whirl
Into a chaotic desperation and fight
To see this through with all of my might.

My heart aches from life and smoke
As I dream of aspirations till I woke
Into a reality of destitution
And ponder the final resolution.

Leap into uncertainty,
For the cautious mind only learns other's tales,
We are not as frail or despondent as you might
assume
If attempts fail and discouragement looms
Then calm your mind and embrace patience,
Look yourself in the eye and take a chance.

More to mind, less to fear,
Don't let anger interfere,
It's clear you measure time in rewards
But the longer you expect it, the more you follow
towards
Conditioned actions requiring treasure
And measure life in achievements,
The grievance I have with such a process
Can leave you no less than disappointment,

For women become prizes
And money as breath and blood,
Other's lives are collateral
And your streets begin to flood with
People you see unfit to live in your world,
Every bright eyed man, every wishful girl
Is just another face to place in stones
On which you step,
And let
Their sacrifices fuel your goals

Until there's nothing but a hole
Where your heart used to be.

I watch you place yourself above us all
But no one will catch you when you finally fall.

They call it courage when it wets their lips,
Another chug, (It's just a sip),
But it's a hunger within their soul,
They need the medicine or lose their coal,
Don't tell them to stop or slow the pour,
“It's what I need, this is what it's for!”
So I let them consume until reason has fled,
And all sense of loyalty is dead.

Ingested the infested
Ideas spoon-fed to you,
Veins course the despondency
As the venom creates a monstrosity
Of a human.

You give two fucks
When you're shit out of luck
Or so you tell yourself,
No one's to blame,
Only the lips that name
Everyone, to their shame.

Chaos and panic
Are no longer tragic
In this God forsaken world we see.
Imagine the humans respect compassion
And fashion themselves humane,

But I see through
All the shit that flew
From the mouths of the unfortunate.

I've seen triumph and love
Conquer the worst of the damage,
But we manage to stack it all crooked
And let it crumble as we just
Stare.

I can only hope so much
Before we all lose touch
Of ourselves.

They tell me to have faith,
They tell me He has a plan,
Trust every word The Book says,
Nothing is in the hands of man.
Predestined, they exclaim,
Freedom is just an illusion,
The future will stay the same
Even with Satan's intrusion.
But everything has a flow;
I know this all too well.
You may hear the voice of God,
But it is devil I smell.

I've killed many people
By the declaration of a word,
So many starved
Whom I'd never considered
Giving a second thought
Or even a passing smile,
No box to call home,
No taxes to file,
Cause they have disparity as currency
And perseverance for loans,
I watch them all struggle
Behind the light of my phone,
I've given hope to so many
Just to feed into this lie,

I'm the right guy
You can't deny
Don't ask why
I can't explain
Why you're in pain
Why you have to quit
Why I don't give a shit
How you won't make it
Why you don't fit
Into my grand scheme
Of everything.

They tell me to forgive,
To suffer,
To repent.
I will never back down;
I am the Government.

It's a silent beast,
Seething and unsure
Trying to injure
Injustice around me.
I feed it daily yet it's never full,
I try to calm it, but feel the pull
Of its sinking fangs around my neck,
No longer controlled, no longer in check.
Its strength is unknown but I know its might,
It remains hidden and out of sight.
One day the shackles will fall from its limbs
And the Beast will finally win.

The Rampage escalates quickly
To anything blocking its path.
I've wanted to calm the impending storm
But the Rampage consumes what's left.
My love and compassion
Do little to dampen the Hate,
For in this tempest
I am alone against
Its fierce, powerful state.
It's always a raging battle
But one day I'll feel it fade,
I hope afterwards when it is done
It'll leave me feeling okay.

I've killed greater than you;
Those full of anger and hate,
The ones who debate whether I should survive,
Thrive,
Or endure.
Those unsure of my willpower to
Tower over those I've conquered before,
You might hold more power
As you yell with deafening sound,
But I've found your weakness
Like the ones before you;
Designed to skew my thinking
And ensure my doubt,
But I stab your reasoning
And bury you down.

Many times the sickness has waned
No longer angry, no longer in pain.
It's the same with thoughts that have been plagued,
Always in doubt, always untamed.
I see myself question and wonder with every
Passing uncertainty, passing insanity.
Am I sane or is it just a comfort
Knowing what I know, feeling every hurt.
I feel so alone in this, even when loved.
They tell me it's all right, but everyone can shove
Their happiness and optimism,
Their sadness and pessimism,
Their confidence and narcissism.
It's all a hoax, it's just a prison
We all have managed to lock ourselves in.
We all compete but never win.
Is it holy or just a sin?
It's time to let the killing begin.

I manage to watch them all,
See every triumph, witness every fall.
So close to breaking but in control,
They fool themselves, so I'm told.
Maybe we are meant for this,
Stock in a feigned sanity
This illusion of reality
Everyone can feel, no one can see
How they're just pawns to me.
In a sense, I've slain many
But never had a true kill,
They live because I have power,
Power of restraint, power of will.
I love with love to love this hate,
To stay my hand and stay their fate.
I will never end a life while in spite
But if you kill, be ready to fight.

We give them excellence and they give us absence,
I pray for misfortune,
Why do they have no empathy to our cause?
The loss of sympathy gives me pause, but I digress,
My distress provides understanding
Demanding their malevolence
Or their lives.
They assume power, though fool only themselves.
I'll take their every boon
And exchange them with sorrow.
One day, their soul will bleed,
Either by their own hands,
Or by me.

You chose unwisely.
Assume I am without a vengeful heart,
But I would start with what you hold dear,
Instill fear,
And rip it from you.
Watching every loving memory pass through your
eyes
Not knowing why they had to die,
Yet I am well aware
As I dare
To tear your soul more,
Destroy what you adore,
Drag it across the bloodied floor
And smile my wicked smile.

I've been ready to die
For a very long time.
I feel peace within myself
And remember to be kind.
Patience is never easy
When you have so much to lose,
We choose to keep the lives we're given
And decide on what to do.
No one can force me to live
With the thousands of ways I can die,
We simply create the prison bars
And hide behind the lies.
Enjoy your existence, give into life,
Or curse the world and prepare to die.

Dare I?
To wander aimlessly, to never tell,
To never wake from my lonely hell.
In my heart, I can not feel,
Its feelings locked in its condemning seal.
I only feel pain, the aching sorrow,
Hoping to never wake tomorrow.
But I must live, continue on,
Or my endless memory forever gone.
Sit back and see, my shattering will,
Only to watch as my life stands still.
Forever more, this lonely fate,
Filled with my only desire to hate.
Hate this world for its selfish way,
Holding a grudge as it withers and frays.
My burning tears stream down my face,
Leaving my heart to wither in its grace.

In the end, I face it alone,
I wish to live, but nothing is shown,
For in my heart, I feel the pain,
And nothing will ever be the same.

I chew through the noose
Before the final fall.
My eyes disguised and denied
Hell's open maw.
The wise hide and defy
Teaching the lesser minds.
All kills fill the will
Embracing the loss of time.
When death accepts my breath
As a lasting mark of life,
I run, hunt, and wonder
Why they chose the broken lies.
I've measured many obstacles
And only found a few,
For all the things holding me back,
I know one of them is you.

Unseen, eyes staring back at me.
Shadows, floating underneath my skin.
Broken skies leaving light
Upon my darkened flight.
If this is so,
I already know,
The world will end tonight.

Forgiving, those who had lied to me.
Memories, caressing my fragile mind.
Corroded promises leaving dust
Upon my wary trust.
If this is so,
I already know,
The world will end tonight.

Lost? I feel your confusion,
Even though I am losing my mind,
And under your loving presence,
The world won't seem unkind.

Cold fingers
Wrapped in yours
Angels sing high
While I die
In this weakened way
As you say,
“I will miss
Your voice,
Your face,
And your heart.”

“Tragedy,” I say, “is merely a step for me.
My final breath I will give in ecstasy.”
Heaven shows me light
To clear my darkened sight.
My heart beats slow,
And I already know,
My world will end tonight.

Destitute, the last human on Earth gazed over the
horizon, lingering in the remains of once was.
Weight shifted to toes as the edge welcomed the
urge to fall into the fog. "It's time." The words
resonated off the distant buildings and hills,
returning the only words that would fade in time.
Eyes closed. Body relaxed and tensed. Concrete
abandoned soles, and clinging air enveloped the
senses. With a smile, flying away into the abyss,
the last human felt peace, and drifted into the
never ending sky.

I gently caress your shoulder,
You nibble on my lip,
My kiss on your neck lingers
As your nails dig into my hip,
I taste of your sweet nectar
While your hands pull on my hair,
Slide your panties down softly
As my shirt begins to tear,
I whisper sweet nothings,
You bite my tender collar
As I hold you closer to me
You moan into a holler,

With the rise and syncing climax
I feel you relax into my hold,
We embrace, and I steal a kiss
As our warmth challenges the cold.

He plays a dangerous game with love,
One believes him and the other's for fun,
Both give him the benefit, I'm sure,
Even when it's not their panties on the floor,
He gives them, “Hey baby,”
Or possibly, “I'm yours”,
“Don't worry girl, my words are pure.”
Call after call they plead for his cock,
He figures, “Why not, there's no reason to stop”,
But take my advice,
Soon you will say,
“C'mon baby, stop actin' that way”,
They'll see through your lies
And kill the romance passed;
Don't be surprised when they tell you,
“Kiss my ass.”